The Fourth Trimester

I have heard this a couple of times now during my post partum period. Granted, I am only 4 weeks into this. But, I think I finally got it tonight. My little one is so sweet. She woke up at 11:30p for a feeding, ate for 15 minutes and went back to sleep. Heard her cooing and making noises for a little bit and then got up, changed her diaper (there was poopie and it was more the consistency of what I think it should be - it has been thicker than I would have thought for a BF baby) and then we went to sit and eat. Now, it was time for her to eat on the right boobie, which in my opinion is the better boobie - but, I have noticed the let down to be stronger lately. So, she gulped and gasped and swallowed air and we burped a few times and then I gave her some gas drops toward the end of the feeding to ward off any painful tummy aches later (hopefully). And, then it hit me - like a light bulb going off over my head. As, she fell asleep nuzzled up against my breast and then again when I put her on my shoulder - this is the 4th trimester. She isn't ready to be separated from me and then I understood. For 36 weeks, she was a part of me and then she was thrust into the world and initially, I wasn't ready for her to be away from me (it killed me when they took her to the NICU and then I didn't let her out of my sight once they brought her back to me). Now, I like to occasionally go to the bathroom or do a load of laundry and she wants nothing to do with that (and rightly so - normally I wouldn't either) But, I am feeling better and I want to get up and move around - now, I need to find a balance. As, I write this she is swaddled next to me in the chair, looking at me but she can feel me and she can smell me.

That was something new tonight too. I put her in my bed while I folded up her laundry and put everything away. She maneuvered her little self down until she was smelling my jammie top that I had placed her on, not really even thinking about it. So, later when I put her down for the night in her bassinet, I put my jammie top over her and off to dreamland she went very sweetly. This might have been coincidental, but we shall see.